once i was azure
like the ocean ocean ocean
and i repeated every word
because it felt so good
rolling around in my mouth.
because the sky shone with sapphires
sparkling like indian names
and my eyes shone too
when i lay on my back, with grass
slipping through my fingers
imprinting my palms
like mommy's rings
when we crossed the street.

and
her nails were crimson

once i was golden
like the sun sun sun
and the world poured its light
as if it were all just for me
because the world was as small
as i was
and as big as i needed it to be

and
big enough for mommy too

and
her hair was chestnut

and
her hair was gone

and
her coffin was white

and
the jewels i saw when i watched
the sun sun sun
dance
rained down for the last time
          &
            shattered.